Indigo Blues

Today is the birthday of nuclear physicist Ernest Rutherford (b. 1871) and chemist Jacobus Henricus van't Hoff (b. 1852), and that is all the occasion I need to launch into my own chemistry memories. In my senior year of a high school, a friend and I registered to be chemistry lab aides. Much like library aides, the lab aides were to ease a teacher’s burden by handling some routine tasks, mostly setting up student labs in this case. The first lab we helped prepare involved measuring the density of sugar. The teacher did not want anyone to taste the sugar, so she had us add indigo powered dye she found in the chemical storeroom. Five minutes of vigorous stirring gave the mixture a pale, purple hue, and so we figured our first assignment completed and washed our hands. When the water from the faucet touched our hands, the whole stream of water instantly turned bright purple. We soon found that the potent, purple powder had dyed a disturbing assortment of our body fluids. I think it was then that we realized that our first period class would be far from routine.

We gained respect and responsibility by diligently doing mundane tasks, like washing the labware. We kept that responsibility by not telling anyone how many close calls we survived. Once we struggled to open a giant bottle of hydrochloric acid sealed much too tightly with a glass stopper. Finally my colleague made an effectual yank, which pulled off the stem of the bottle as well as the stopper. Providentially, none of the strong acid spilled.

Most of the adventures took place in the chemical storeroom, a small room linked by special passageway to the chemistry rooms. One day we noticed a vinegary odor and a white crust in the acid section and were alarmed to notice the corroded remnants of a lid still smoking atop a bottle of glacial acetic acid. Our teacher supervised as we cleaned the area very carefully.

The scariest corner of the storeroom was the fireproof cabinet in which the organics were stashed. The cabinet housed a smell that would lodge for hours as a taste in the back of the throat of whoever opened the cabinet. To minimize our exposure, my friend and I would have one person open the cabinet, the other would find what we needed with all possible speed, and the doorman would close the cabinet as soon as his comrade’s digits were safe. Once we opened the door to find a jar of chloroform tottering on the edge of the top shelf, but some quick hands secured the bottle before the next pulse beat.

We acquired experience with lab equipment and lab skills as well as a healthy fear of concentrated acids. I think we were helpful; we organized the labware, recovered lost artifacts from forgotten storage areas, reshelved the chemicals in the storeroom in a safer and more organized layout, and prepared every student lab.

The school board should be pleased to know that we also learned life lessons, though the water district might be annoyed to discover how. Our school had a manual listing dozens of disposal techniques and a list of chemicals and the proper disposal technique for each. Two of the techniques were simple: technique 21a was to seal the chemical in a bag and place in the trash, 21b was to pour the chemical down the drain. The rest of the techniques were far more complicated, usually involving prolonged treatment with other chemicals. Actual practice for such chemicals, we learned, was to leave the substances by a sink until someone else unwittingly dumped them down the drain. I since have seen analogous situations in accounting and administration, and every time I recall a room with a vinegary scent.

Political Ads

Having grown up in a state with two secure Senators, a late Presidential primary, and Republican dominance in Presidential elections stretching back beyond World War II, Presidential and Senatorial television ads still are a novelty to me. This year YouTube has allowed me to explore the genre fully. Below are my nominations for the best ads of this season.

Best video
Norm Coleman (R for Senate in Minnesota), "Deliver on a Promise"
Mark Udall (D for Senate in Colorado), "Stand Up"
Mark Warner (D for Senate in Virginia), "Virginia Independence. Real Results."

Best short introduction
Al Franken (D for Senate in Minnesota), "Mrs. Molin"
Kay Hagan (D for Senate in North Carolina), "Roots"
Mary Landrieu (D for Senate in Louisiana) "Fighter"
Barack Obama (D presidential nominee), "What if"
Bill Richardson (D presidential candidate), "Job Interview"
Bob Schaffer (R for Senate in Colorado), "Moving Forward"

Best single issue ad
Mark Begich (D for Senate in Alaska), "Energy Leader"
Al Franken (D for Senate in Minnesota), "Invest Here"
John McCain (R presidential nominee), "God's Children"
Barack Obama (D presidential nominee), "Return"
Mark Warner (D for Senate in Virginia), "Budget Mess"

Note I'm not endorsing these candidates or even the positions they take in these ads. Rather I hope to show that its possible and desirable for political discourse to be inspiring (and sometimes even intelligent) in any medium.

Reusable Grocery Bags

Plastic groceries bags are overwhelming landfills, and they take centuries to photodegrade. Surely there must be some trendy product one can buy to remedy this woe! It turns out that most supermarket chains offer reusable sacks for about a dollar.

Of course, many also offer reusable bags for free, since regular paper and plastic bags rarely disintegrate after the first use. I maintain a stock of bags, which I bring when I buy food. Every week, about two plastic bags are reassigned to line the garbage can and one paper bag to hold the recycling. The times I forget to bring my bags merely restocks my supply. The free bags are always durable enough to handle the five loads of groceries they carry in my cycle. Before getting too self-congratulatory, I should note that some of the reusable bags sold are made with especially eco-friendly materials and that serious environmentalists need fewer garbage liners.

Worries over plastic bags have resulted in more than just commercial gimmicks. San Francisco banned “disposable” plastic bags. (1) I think Seattle has a better approach: a Pigouvian tax. (2) The fee rewards conservation. Its major shortcoming is that it influences the production decision not the disposal decision, where most of the externality is.

(1) City of San Francisco Plastic Bag Reduction Ordinance 81-07-106883
(2) Kaste, Martin. “Seattle's Bag-User Fee Spurs Backlash.” NPR All Things Considered. 21 August 2008.

Scaevola

Aside from the occasional shamelessly pirated article, my favorite part of Wikipedia is the disambiguation page. The main function of disambiguation pages is to help navigate similarly titled articles, but they often show fun connections as well. The disambiguation banner for Scaevola reveals that the name is shared by a family of shrubs, a mollusk, several Romans (who have their own disambiguation page), and a nuclear test.

Among the ancients listed is Gaius Mucius Scaevola, the star of my favorite Roman legend. During a war with Etruscans, Mucius snuck into the enemy camp to assassinate their king. He was captured after slaying the wrong man. The Etruscans threatened to fillet their detainee, but Mucius delivered a defiant speech and held his right arm in a fire to show his resolve. This type of self-control impressed the Etruscans, who released him. Upon his return to Rome, Mucius was honored with the cognomen Scaevola, meaning the left-handed. (1)

The Scaevola nuclear test was part of the Hardtack I series, which concluded fifty years ago today. Other tests in this series had yields exceeding eight megatons, more than sufficient to neutralize an Etruscan army. But the Scaevola detonation did not, for it was a zero-yield safety experiment. (2)

(1) Titus Livy. Ab Urde Condita. 2.12-13.
(2) US Dept. of Energy. United States Nuclear Tests: July 1945 through September 1992.

Is Irony a Giffin Good?

A printed banner on the microeconomics text I received declares, “Instructor’s Edition. This is your personal copy for use in textbook evaluation. Sale or resale is prohibited and will contribute to higher student textbook costs.” Nice try, South-western Publishing, but microeconomics instructors tend to think that increases in supply lower the price of most goods. The warning on the back includes some copyright law arguments along with the dubious economic statements.

Shower Power

Not long ago, I lived with my parents and care of the lawn was my often neglected responsibility. A sparse mowing schedule minimized air pollution, water pollution, and interruptions to my summer leisure time. Such reasoning rarely persuaded my parents. My visit this week featured a startling role reversal with my insisting the grass ought to be cut and volunteering to do so.

As I pushed the mower that humid afternoon, I wondered what had changed. Perhaps a hiatus from mowing will make anyone’s landscaping philosophy more exacting, but I think the reports of vandalism and the scraggily look of the whole neighborhood are what compelled me to do anything I could for my old street.

After mowing I was reminded of a resource that, in a better world, would secure property value. The shower in the upstairs bathroom delivers water pressure beyond anything Bull Connor could order. Adjustable settings let a bather choose anything from a typical shower to a hockey check. If only showerheads were the measure of a community, then my hometown’s far eastside would be legendary.