Unexpected Hyperbole

I avoid polemics, and so I miss most of the inflammatory rhetoric and hyperbole I'm told circulates. Yet sometimes hyperbole comes from unexpected sources, and sometimes the examples are too entertaining to not share. From my recent reading:

[John Quincy Adams] recommended U.S. conversion to the metric system of weights and measures on the ground that it implemented "the trembling hope of the Christian" for the unity of humanity, the binding of Satan in chains, and the promised thousand years of peace. [1]

(Or should that read "the binding of Satan in decameters"?)

Elsewhere, from the usually tame trade journal Automotive News:

The cheapness of the [Chevrolet] Lumina's interior and ragged seams fairly shouted to its owner: Sorry your life didn't turn out better. [2]

[1] Howe, Daniel. What Hath God Wrought. Oxford Unv. Press, 2007. Page 287.
[2] Brown, Peter. "Ooooh, Malibu: At last, a competitor to... you know." Automotive News. 19 Nov 2007. Page 14.